16 May 2012

[The Big C] Sex Tips from Uncle Sean

This week on The Big C.

Uncle Sean caught his 16-year old nephew, Adam, who had been staying at his house, in this uncompromising position with his girlfriend:

So, naturally, he went ballistic and sat down with him.

What follows is this most hilarious sex talk I've heard on TV in a while...

Uncle Sean: You inscrutable little boon!
Adam: It's no big deal.
Uncle Sean: Do I have to remind you about the hooker and the crabs, and the...the shit storm you started last time you unleashed your pecker in the world?!?
Adam: Uncle Sean, it's not like that. I really like this girl. We're just taking it slow.   
Uncle Sean: Slow...is kissing. Or, if you're like my client Doug, lightly dragging your scrotum across your partner's face. Not what you were just doing! Please tell me that you were at least using protection?
Adam: What for? We're not even having sex. Jessie is saving herself. So we're just doing it in the butt.
Uncle Sean: Great! Do you know how many butt-born diseases there are out there? You better be wrapping that johnson, mister. If that girl thinks she's not having sex, she's off her fucking nut. Butt sex is the real deal! There's a reason they don't call it butt-not sex.
Adam: It's our business. She's okay with it.
Uncle Sean: Look, bottomline....pun intended...if she's saving the bush, don't touch the tush!

Just when I thought this show is winding down, the writers come up with bits like this one. In fact, this week's episode has been one of the best from the show's third season so far...with Cathy and Paul's life possibly being turned into a movie starring Sandra Bullock and Leo DiCaprio no less!

Have you been tuning to The Big C? Isn't Sean the craziest??